Ah, the elusive holiday romance. It’s something we ladies dream of. The chance to walk arm in arm with our new love in an exotic location, totally oblivious to the world around us. Sounds delightful doesn’t it?
Holiday romance is all fun and games, right up until the point that you remember your partner back home. Cheating while traveling happens.
And so, we ask the universal question: Is it still cheating if it happens across international waters? Or, does what happens in XX country, stay in XX country?
Yes, and no. No matter how you look at or try to spin it, infidelity is infidelity, regardless of geographical location. Of course, while you are away, you’re bound to meet people you like, but the decision to act on it is a different kettle of fish altogether.
Let’s not be too hard on ourselves though. Mistakes can happen and sometimes, meeting a new partner abroad can be the best thing that happens to you.
So ladies, relax and I’ll offer my wisdom on the subject of international love affairs.
Your Relationship, Your Decision
Before you leave, ask yourself some tough questions. Do you really want to be in a relationship while you’re traveling? Do you feel like your boyfriend is holding you back?
If in your heart of hearts, the answer is no, then take the plunge and tell your partner. It will make things easier in the long run. Plus, think of all the great experiences you could have as a single gal taking on the world!
If you decide that your love can stand the distance, look into ways to really make being apart easier. Email regularly, send postcards and arrange to Skype when you can. Being apart can do the relationship some good.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, remember?
Safety First
Don’t let your guard down just because you’re away from home. As with everything when you’re traveling, your safety is vital. Don’t let anyone take advantage or do anything that you are not comfortable with. Similarly, safe sex rules still apply; an unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections aren’t exactly the best souvenirs. Personally, I’d rather have jewelery.
Don’t be too hard on yourself
Traveling has the potential to change who you are, as you learn and discover more. New experiences help us to mature and grow in ways that we didn’t know possible. So it’s only likely that you’ll be tempted by someone you meet along the way. So don’t beat yourself up too much about it if you end up cheating while traveling. It happens.
If you do cheat on your partner, it doesn’t make you a bad person. Ask yourself what led you to do it as it could mean that something was not right there anyway.
Trust me, being apart from a partner is hard, but if everything is hunky dory at home then the chances of cheating are slim.
And you never know, the guy you’ve cheated with, might turn out to be the man of your dreams…stranger things have happened!
25 Comments
Hmmm…I’ve only ever been single during my travels but I can see how it would be easy to forget about your bf way back home! I think maybe it’s just best to be single when you travel that way you’re adventures aren’t held back by too many thoughts of home. 🙂
I travelled WITH my boyfriend! Definitely a different experience – in some ways good, in some ways bad. I wouldn’t have enjoyed myself as much with anyone else though, and definitely not on my own.
In terms of cheating while travelling, I think if what you have is special, it just isn’t likely to be an issue. If you do cheat, there will be a reason why that leads back to the relationship you’re in. Either way, roll with the punches and don’t let guilt ruin your trip – deal with it and get over it, or put it out of mind until you can deal with it.
I have only traveled once with a boyfriend back home and it wasn’t easy. It was a six week trip, I missed him every day, and felt sadder that he couldn’t be there with me. I did still falter once, and made out with a sexy canadian I had become very close with in Panama but I knew it would go no farther than a make-out session, it wasn’t anything as real as what I had back home, but it’s just so different on the road. I never told him about it, I never will, and two years later we are still in the healthiest relationship I have ever been in. I’m not saying what I did was right, he would be heartbroken if he learned it, but I knew it was never going to be anything more than a kiss, and that I would never see the Canadian again. On any longer trips I don’t think it is possible. There is too much temptation in the world of travel, and having someone you miss that is very far away takes half the fun out it!
OF COURSE it’s cheating! If your partner is under the impression that you’re going to be faithful while you’re away, then you’re disrespecting him/her if you don’t honor that, even if he/she never finds out. If you don’t think that you can refrain from fooling around with people that you meet while traveling, you should let your partner know before you leave town. Maybe you can work out an arrangement for when you’re apart, or maybe you’d be better off traveling single.
Exactly 👏👏. The advice in this column is horribly unethical. It doesnt matter how good or bad your relationship is going. Its ALWAYS morally wrong to cheat on someone. If someone is trusting their heart into your hands, then it is your responsibility to treat it with the utmost respect. This is also how you preserve and nourish your own sense of “dignity” (the only legitimate source of confidence you need).
Travelling is about discovery, of places and yourself. Cheating is not ‘bad’ (someone is going to hate me for that) it is so common that it must be viewed as basic human behaviour (and not just human; swans are NOT monogamous). So what ever happens when you travel, if you ‘arrive’ a better person than before, then it was a valid experience. So long as no one is hurt by it! So dont kiss and tell…kiss and learn or don’t kiss at all.
LOVE your position. Especially kiss and learn or don’t kiss at all. So real! Thanks for sharing!
Actually, if you and your partner agree on a monogamous relationship then yes, cheating IS bad. The comments on here are clearly from people that have cheated before — you’re all rationalizing this behaviour.
Foreal as if these ppl are condoning that type of behavior it’s because of ppl like that I dont trust ppl there no excuses for that type of behavior
It sounds like You just hate women Mike, Cheating is infidelity plus power in our current patriarchal society women unfortunately do not have equal power, therefore experimentation with other men/ladies cannot be considered cheating as we don’t have the power to make it cheating.
This is awful. Please put information like this on you Tinder profile so potential mates know beforehand you are this volatile regarding sex.
Selfishness is also a natural inherent trait to humans. But, we aim to rise above our selfishness in order to strive to be ethical people. The more you behave indignantly, the more you give away your own sense of [dignity] (which is the source of true confidence). Dont be led by desires or emotions. Be led by principles. It just requires making sacrifices. But, it’s to everyone’s greatest benefit.
My wife Rebecca (Becky) goes on “business” trips, girls trips, etc. I didn’t ever think to worry about CHEATING. And then the big Ashley Madison drop LOL. CHEATING is CHEATING. I don’t know any men that say there vow’s with an asterisk *except while on vacation. Non-monogamous marriage? Lol When did that become ok? NEVER. She has not confessed ANY of her affairs (which is the saddest part). As if it’s not obvious.
All these guys can’t be trusted , I was in a relationship with my ex for 2 years, I figured he changed suddenly ever since he went abroad, I wanted a solid evidence to know if he was seeing someone else and I read reviews online about a legit hacker to confirm spouse infidelity. I used (computerworm.hacker@hotmail.com) to confirm that he had been cheating on me with some girl he met abroad. I was able to see his texts,calls log,FB messages and all of the apps on his phone. You can get in contact with him if you need such services. I have confirmed he is totally legit and professional.
Note to men:
What’s the gender of the person who wrote this and all of the positive voices?
Yeah, never say we didn’t warn you.
Wake. Up. Now.
I’m astounded by both this article and the comments. Sounds like the author cheated and wants to rationalize her actions. You’re not giving cheaters any responsibility for their actions and say “you must be missing something in the relationship, otherwise it wouldn’t have happened.” Have you ever considered the cheater might have personal issues? Have you ever heard of “victim blaming”? Seriously.
Ha Mike, you really have a lot to learn when it comes to women. And they wonder why they never had equal rights for so long. 😀
In 30 years everything they fought for will be gone. They do not live by the same moral and ethical code as men. They want equal rights, but not equal responsibilities.
Of course it’s cheating and of course it’s “bad”. If you lead the person behind to believe you’re going to be faithful and expect him/her to be faithful, then it’s just incredibly selfish to cheat. Be honest and open about your intentions or what you do so that at least the one left back at home can also enjoy whatever opportunities might arise.
I have had so may opportunities to cheat and I never did. Women have literally asked me for sex but I never caved in, even if it was so tempting. Because I know the difference between right and wrong. I know that my girlfriend trusts me and doing something like that behind her back would just destroy that even if I don’t tell her. There is a thing called conscience, look it up. This article is just so bull, it just sounds like the author is trying to justify her actions in her own delusional world. Trust is one of the most important thing in a relationship. If you and your partner agreed to a polygamous relationship then it’s totally okay. But if you do it behind your partner and think it’s okay then that’s just plain wrong, it’s as simple as that.
This is the most ridiculous, disrespectful and stupid article I’ve ever read. Cheating is never okay. It is disgusting, belittling, immoral and degrading. If you want to get with other people, break up with your partner.
👏👏🎈
I really hope you end up all alone and miserable because no self respecting man or woman would take someone as vile as a person who thinks cheating is okay if they are in monogamous relationship. I really hope you will die single because nobody deserves to be around people like you and who thinks alike.
Oh My god. I read through all this article and let me say this is complete bullsh*t. If you love your partner never will be such thing as cheating, in any place of the world if you consider respectful and faithful to the people you love no temptation will destroy what you have achieved with a partner. This article is just an apology for being a wh*re and while men like me, faithful and loving, exists I will always believe men are better than women. The author is a disgrace to women.
OMG. JUST OMG. “Don’t be hard on yourself”. You should be hard on yourself. How otherwise you are gonna learn it that CHEATING is same as BETRAYAL. It’s immoral thing to do to anyone. CHEATING is NOT: telling your partner beforehand that you want to have affairs, and agree upon it with him, short relationship break (if this can work, not with me). CHEATING IS: telling your partner that you are traveling solo to enjoy yourself, while in fact you were enjoying others.
No matter how much you justify your opinion (more probably, your choices), it’s just plain invalid. If there are things missing in a relationship, solving it up is a solution, or breaking that up, not cheating. There is literally no excuse for it.
I cheated once just after separation with my ex, and even that time I felt bad, even tho our relationship was supposed to end, but because of distance it didn’t. I eventually broke up with my ex in a first meeting. That was the only right thing to do.
IDK what’s wrong with people that they can justify this kind of behaviour.
Where is the integrity?
Should we be lying gaslighting narcessists?
I would never betray my woman’s love. She is far too precious in my heart.
Would I want her to cheat on me? Absolutely not.
Why breach the moral fiber of love, between two people for a silly fling.
Your feelings for your partner would be forever scrambbled.
Don’t do what you do not want to happen to you.