Dating abroad is fun. It gives you the freedom to indulge in short-lived fairytales that you had when you were a little girl about prince charming sweeping you off your feet in some exotic beach in never-never land.
In South America, the men are persistent, sexy and the epitome of the cliché “suave’ Latin-lover. They will woo you on the dance floor and into the bedroom with a swing of their hips and flutter of their luscious long eyelashes. And for the most part, if you can keep things light, dating a guy in South America can be a thrilling and heart-pounding experience.
However, if the guy starts calling you obsessively, showing up at your house unannounced, or begins to show signs of aggressiveness: beware. In my personal experience, I have had a few encounters with men who end up being overly obsessive, and in one case, I had to notify the police. Below are some “red-flags” signifying that your love affair with your man in South America may be shifting into the danger zone.
He starts to obsessively Text or Call you
Its fun to text sweet-nothings in the first stages of getting to know your new “chico.” If the banter is equal and you are sending each other flirty texts at lightening speed back and forth, then everything is probably still in good fun. If you start to notice he is sending you texts without your response and he doesn’t stop, then you may want to be slightly more on guard. If he continues to text you more then five times without an answer from you, beware. This shows his propensity to keep “pushing” without your consent that could later on translate into physical actions outside a simple text.
He shows up at events or your hostel unannounced
Eeeek. I can’t tell how many times I have witnessed the situation among other female travelers and have also experienced a man showing up at an exclusive event or my hostel without a proper invite. Sure, it’s one thing to go out to a bar and have him “happen” to show up with a few of his buddies, but when he comes to your hostel or a private event without an invitation from you, it can be extremely disturbing. If he does it once, fine, just be cautious, if he does it twice : step away, and make it clear you are not interested in seeing him again.
After you end things with him, he gets aggressive or calls you names
Most love affairs abroad are meant to be, fun, transient, and over before they “really” begin. Unless you have had a serious conversation with the boy you are seeing that you are interested in taking things further, then there should be no reason why he should make a huge scene when you decide to end things. I saw this one guy for a few cups of coffee and a dinner that ended in a negligible kiss, and after that I told him I wasn’t interested. He flipped out, and started calling me names and told me he was going to “hurt me” if I didn’t go out with him again. Ladies, this is a huge warning sign. If he is over dramatic after you choose to end things, take a HUGE step back and let him calm down. Refrain from contact and let your friends know, so they can be aware of the situation you are in as well.
Traveling and dating in South America or anywhere in a foreign country can be a rousing and enthralling experience. Every country has their customs, so be conscious of them before you jump into a relationship. Have fun, but take care of yourself first, you never know what kind of crazies you will run into!
Have you had a crazy experience while dating abroad?